mreh.

Today was a little busy... and totally scattered. I've been working and taking a full patient load and pretty much doing everything on my own. I only really consult my preceptor for technical questions but for the most part I'm pretty independent. I was actually telling my preceptor and my manager that I feel like I can do more - I feel like I have had pretty standard assignments but I want to experience a "busy day" or "heavy patient load." ...Be careful what you wish for... I started out today with 4 patients, one of them was leaving so I knew I'd get an admission. I was on my way to discharge my one patient when the charge nurse asked if I could take 5th patient. I said "sure!" and was kinda looking forward to it so that I could know what it's like to take a 5th. Literally as soon as I agreed the patient showed up. So, I had to discharge a patient, admit a new one, and at the same time my other patient came back from a procedure vomiting all over the place. Slightly overwhelming. It took me a little while to catch up on everything, but eventually it happened. I was so thrown off though that I totally lost my focus and was so scattered for the rest of the day. I have no idea how I would've gotten through the day if Christy hadn't been precepting and following up on everything. Charting wouldnt have gotten done, meds probably would've been given late.... ugh.

I'm just so frustrated with myself because I totally expected to be able to handle busy days much better than I did. And whats even more frustrating is that the day overall wasnt even THAT busy - it was only busy for a couple hours. My patients were pretty easy, actually. Mreh. I realize I'm still relatively new so of course days will run smoothly, but I apparently I'm off orientation in 3 weeks! 3 weeks! Thats like 12 shifts! Actually, 3 of the days I work, I'll have class so really thats only 9 shifts! 9 SHIFTS!! Then I'm on my own! No one following up on me, making sure everything got done, reminding me of things I need to do, etc. etc. AHH!!